St.Anthony is God's greatest gift to Indian insecurity......sorry security! Have we ever had such a sterling figure in whose hands the security of the nation depends,who has outdone and accomplished so much in a decade at the helm that even legend Krishna Menon couldn't achieve? He has also never unfairly punished MOD babus by sending them to Siachen like that monster, St.George did. This has resulted in a dramatic increase in the MOD's indecision making..sorry again slip of the pen,decision making, a track record that any bureaucracy worldwide will be proud of. Let's look at his wondrous achievements.He has doubled the scrutiny and tripled the decision making time required for acquisition of major weapon systems desperately required by the services like subs,howitzers and guns,infantry rifles,MMRCAs,basic trainers,etc.,etc.These projects in the pipeline are receiving the careful attention that they rightly deserve .Nothing but the best for our armed forces.No other defence minister has ever studied the fine print in defence contracts so thoroughly as St.Anthony.If he misses something,he starts all over again! If there have been no warrantys for some components in signed deals,there is no problem whatsoever.Fresh agreements will be signed after due diligence and they will be acquired later with the ususal cost escalation clause. As an example, look at the Scorpene deal vetted most meticulously ,leaving no word unread and in full agreement of the escalation cost of Rs.1 crore per day.This is the time-established SOPs.It proves that he respects the finest traditions of the Ministry of Defence! Now let's look at the performance of the weapon systems being acquired.It is an indisputable fact that never have our weapon systems acquired from abroad been put through such extensive trials,some lasting years.During this time the advances in technology have also been factored in with new trials being conducted immediately after trials Phase-1 are completed. Final decisions will be taken after Phase-2 of Phase-3 as the case may be. In the case of indigenous weapon systems ,even more stringent trials are conducted.Just see how the Arjun tank has been put through its pieces,sorry....paces! That Arjun MK-1 was found superior to the Russian T-90 in joint trials ,it was not enough for our visionary Deaf Minister.He agreed to the army's demand over 80 improvements immediately.The trials are on right now.This will set the minds of our tankers at rest,as with St.Anthony,you get only the very best! Next take the case of the LCA Tejas.At Aero-India in 2013 did he not kick ass? HAL and the ADA were read out the riot act.The IOC was achieved in Dec. 2013. The basic trainer.St.Anthony was all for an indigenous trainer,but after a few crashes killing pilots he still generously gave HAL time to perfect their product.He did not rashly scrap the bird.He waited patiently until dozens of crashes conclusively proved that the aircraft was a dud. A swift keen-jerk decision was then taken to buy the world's best trainer the Pilatus PC-7.Only the best from the west! The IAF are overjoyed with it.However,to be fair,to promote indigenisation,we are reliably told that he is giving HAL a second chance with the HTT-40,a brand new plane that we are told costs much less than the all metal Pillatus.India will thus take a world lead in technology. Now for the well-publicised accidents involving the navy,flying (MIG) coffins,etc. It is a fact of physics that what goes up must come down and vice versa.Our IAF's MIGs and IN subs have demonstrated that fact of physics superbly! In addition,the MIG-21s have created a world record, having celebrated their golden jubilee.No other nation squeezes out of its weapon systems the very last drop of blood...sorry! Last drop of juice,second of flying time,spark of power (in sub batteries),than India.In "penny wise pound foolish" financial mismanagement ,sorry again....management, of the weaponry in the armed forces,St.Anthony has no equal.Worldwide where defence budgets are falling,experts marvel at how the Indian armed forces are able to fight to the last bullet ,last MIG,last Kilo sub with so little money spent on maintenance and support. St.Anthony is doing his best to reduce defence spending by asking all submariners and pilots to pray hard for a safe return before embarking upon operations,as faith can achieve miracles! Tackling corruption.Never in independent India have there been so many defence scams costing the nation billions,which has resulted in St.Anthony creating new records for blacklisting firms and instituting inquiries.Innumerable courts of inquiry have been set up.The CBI and other agencies of the govt. have investigated them as thoroughly as the Bofors and HDW scandals and found NO sign of any malpractice or malfeasance. Take the Tatra scam as another example.He covered his hands when Gen. VK Singh told him about it mano-a-mano,so that he would be fair to Gen. Singh and not look at the face of the guilty,for how did Gen. Singh know about the scam if he was not privy to it? Gen.Singh got his term cut short by a year as a consequence (thank you St.Anthony!), but that is another story.As for the latest developing Rolls Royce engine scam,did he not spring from his chair and start an inquiry immediately after hearing about it from the Arnab Goswami Show? These same exceptional standards of criminal investigation which would make Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot green with envy,are being used in the Augusta AW-101 VVIP helicopter scam.It also proves the care and consideration with which he treats the requirements of the backsides of our sacred VVIPs and top brass of the armed forces.When Adm.Joshi came to him with his resignation letter,did he not immediately accept it without protest in full agreement with the good admiral? Compare his behaviour to that of evil and mean St.George, who unceremoniously sacked Adm.Bhagwat without even offering him a cup of tea and sympathy. Shameful! Finally, the entire nation knows that he possesses the whitest dhoti in India! Has any defence minister before him blacklisted so many firms? His reputation is spotless! None can lay the accusation against him that he is corrupt.Legions of arms dealers and manufacturers will happily testify to that effect and will award him with gilt-edged certificates.Do you know that he has also allegedly turned down innumerable lucrative offers for washing powder advertisements? With such admirable qualities,it is patently obvious how lucky the nation is to have such a saintly custodian of the nation's insecurity,sorry once more...security.Salut St.Anthony! "Forget about St.Michael, St.George or St.Gabriel, If you want nothing but victory, Then none are better that St.Anthony!" Credit goes to @Philip of BR, Nicely sumed up .. =================== Hillarious , But at the same time sad ..