Bullying In Schools

Discussion in 'Politics & Society' started by SADAKHUSH, Oct 15, 2012.

  1. SADAKHUSH

    SADAKHUSH Senior Member Senior Member

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    In North America the bullying behaviour of some students has been in the news lately which has led to suicide by some of the children in our society. I would like to know if this kind of situation does exist in India as well in this age of social networking. If so than how are the schools and parents dealing with it.

    If you were a parent that what steps would you take to put an end to it.
     
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  3. panduranghari

    panduranghari Senior Member Senior Member

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  4. Singh

    Singh Phat Cat Administrator

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    Bullying (in schools) in India is relatively mild.
     
  5. Virendra

    Virendra Moderator Moderator

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    I agree. Few occassions when some idiots picked on me, I cleared the misunderstanding quickly. Its another thing they ended up choked or thrown on table tops :sad:
     
  6. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    Sadakhush,

    Can you give examples of the bulling in schools in North America so that we can chip in?
     
  7. Aayush

    Aayush Regular Member

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  8. Nagraj

    Nagraj Regular Member

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    i don't think its mild compared to west.
    we have other bigger problems in schools.
    so this rarely gets highlighted as much.
     
  9. SADAKHUSH

    SADAKHUSH Senior Member Senior Member

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    What I have read in the media it is practised in the form of racial taunts, making threats on social media, posting the photographs without the consent and spreading the rumors specially the teenage girls. If, I may add one thing, in our province of Ontario the Government is about to introduce a law to bullying of all kinds. The victims come from all the ethnic background White, South Asian, Europeans, Latin Americans, Arabians and Orientals.

    I will have provide few links or post media articles at a later date.
     
  10. SADAKHUSH

    SADAKHUSH Senior Member Senior Member

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  11. Daredevil

    Daredevil On Vacation! Administrator

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    I think there is no or relatively less bullying in the school. I would like to know what is the reason some kids want to bully others - to show off to the girls, alpha-male BS, problems at home, problem in studying or something else?.
     
  12. SADAKHUSH

    SADAKHUSH Senior Member Senior Member

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    An individual is bullied because of looks, race, the food they eat, the clothes they wear and any excuse a tormentor can make up to vent their fear or prejudice against the fellow human beings. As a result of this behaviour some of our children have been forced to an edge where they end their precious life leaving behind the guilt in the minds of rest of us who closed their mental eyes and ears without realising how their own child's soul was being destroyed from inside.

    In this age of social media bullying has gone viral as you might have watched in the video posted by Aayush. The loss of a child does not effect the near and dear ones but the society as whole which has given birth to a movement to ban bullying and make it a criminal offence in Canada.

    The sexting is another dimension of new way to bully while staying hidden behind the keyboard. The mobile phone have also contributed to this anti social behaviour among children and there are reports that it is also taking roots in the adults in our society.
     
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  13. blank_quest

    blank_quest Senior Member Senior Member

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    Bullying has many dimension. I have suffered from bullying in my childhood. I was considered to be too much "seedha saadha bachha" (read 'very dumb guy' ) so my class mate used to slang upon me like 'chamcha' and 'chela' and other kind of words for me. Even today I hate myself for not giving the fight and slaps to those guys who used to treat me like a scumbag.It was really pathetic. I felt helpless and didn't knew that what should I do, totally clueless.I was mentally so much pained that I started losing interest in studies and school. finally with God's grace I failed in 4th standard and I got a new lease of Life. I started performing well and with much greater pace I scored decent ( about 80%) in 10+2 boards. I still feel sick when I remember my childhood days and those bullying memories.its totally pathetic when people who you call 'friends' actually 'exploit your innocence'.
     
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  14. SADAKHUSH

    SADAKHUSH Senior Member Senior Member

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    Your post brought back the memories when I started my schooling in Kanpur in the civilian neighbourhood where we had Non Hindu brothers and students older than me use to engage in this kind of behaviour to wards them. This happened in early 1960's.


    I myself was bullied in early 1970's while attending ITI at Nizamuddin, New Delhi. I am adding the contents of blog Ravi Lochan Singh which is contrary to your POV.
    May be you have not seen in practise it is very much possible that bulling doe exist but the society might not be aware of its existence.


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    Home > Uncategorized > Bullying in residential schools is far worse than Ragging in Colleges… Ragging is punishable while Bullies escape!
    Bullying in residential schools is far worse than Ragging in Colleges… Ragging is punishable while Bullies escape!
    June 20, 2012 Ravi Lochan Singh

    India finally has strict “anti ragging” laws that lead to immediate arrests. The arrests are now becoming a deterrent for many. However, I am shocked to find that the very list of acts that are considered “ragging” are at most “bullying” at boarding schools and often the boys are let off with a warning or as the maximum punishment they are suspended or asked to be withdrawn. Why should the Indian penal laws not be applied to a school? You may say that the school boys are only in late teens but do not forget that there are several crimes in various cities including murders which are committed by teenagers today. Teachers cannot hit a boy, cane a boy or even give him unnecessary harsher punishments. But I have heard of boys being kicked and hit by hockey sticks for not cheering loudly for the house and in a boarding school, a boy was beaten up for playing badly in the game that led to the house losing. One of the boys almost lost his hearing when slapped so hard that his eardrums… One was kicked last year on his hand that he suffered a fracture but had to make up a story to the school hospital due to pressure from the seniors and the regular drama around “sneaking” that leads to boycotts. If bullying is “tradition” which cannot be reported, heck with such a tradition.

    In my opinion, bullying in boarding residential schools are far far worse than the ragging that happens in colleges. Ragging lasts for a few weeks or at most a few months and ends with the “freshers night”, while bullying leads to juniors living under fear for years and then waiting for their turn to become seniors so that they can find their “slaves”. Further the victims of bullying are often younger in age too.

    I have been looking for good and clear opinions on this topic from various informed teachers who have seen it first hand and are in a position to comment. Unfortunately most who are in that position remain “defensive” or hide behind the cowardice of statements such as “these make a boy into a man”.

    However, I came across a 2009 newspaper article of Mr Dev Lahiri where he goes to detail the difference between bullying and ragging. Mr Lahiri has taught me at The Doon School and then later he was the Principal of the Heritage School in Kolkata where my children went for some early schooling. In 2009, he wrote the article while being the Headmaster of Welham Boys School in Dehradun. The article BULLYING: A SCHOOL MASTERS PERSPECTIVE from Times of India of June 2009 can be found on this link. I am quoting from that below…

    When I took over a school in 1991, I found that it was commonplace for senior students to entertain themselves by hanging little boys out all night from the first floor windows, to break their arms with hockey-sticks and to proudly autograph the plaster cast, to brand their slaves with electric irons all in the name of tradition. And this school was being run by the HRD ministry! I had to wage a battle to combat this menace. There was a large section of the alumni which felt that I was diluting the character-building ethos of the school. So, what are the remedies, if any?

    Any attempt to answer the question must first make a distinction between bullying and ragging. Incidents of the nature I have described are tantamount to bullying. This is the kind of sadistic behaviour displayed by a senior boy (or a group of boys) in order to give sanctity to the pecking order, particularly in old boarding schools. Over a period of time these sadistic practices become part of the hallowed traditions of the institution.

    Bullying in day schools tends to be different. In a day school, it’s less of a cultural thing and more of an individual or gang-related phenomenon either a powerful individual attracts the support of a gang of admirers who then proceed to prey upon the weaker ones, or there is a proliferation of gangs who fight each other over different issues (in a co-ed school, for instance, mainly over the attention of girls).

    It may seem that bullying is purely a male phenomenon. However, nothing could be further from the truth. There is a great deal of bullying among girls as well albeit of a different kind. Girls will not indulge in physical violence, but their bullying takes on far more subtle and psychological dimensions.

    Ragging is different it’s a sort of initiation-rite practised in colleges. It was fairly prevalent in the US and was known as hazing. It drew its inspiration mainly from the harsh practices of US military academics, meant to toughen would-be officers. These rites of initiation, which can range from the ludicrous to the sadistic, do not usually last very long, and are terminated after a welcoming ceremony which is held a few days/weeks after the opening of the new term.

    In TV debates many experts claimed that most bullies are from maladjusted family backgrounds, and had probably suffered some deep emotional scarring in early childhood. My experience has been quite to the contrary. Most of the bullies I have dealt with have been from perfectly normal and happy backgrounds, and carried no emotional baggage.

    What Mr Lahiri stated in 2009 is so true even today in 2012. It continues to exist and there are several schools who have a very tame attitude towards it. And some of this does die out or not emerge out simply due to the hallowed tradition of those schools. A false and misplaced tradition in today’s times.

    Answering as to where do things go wrong, Mr Lahiri, states…

    Well, the answer is partly societal. We are quite simply, a nation prone to bullying. Our caste system is perhaps the most sophisticated attempt at legitimizing bullying. Children learn to bully servants from a very early age. If we happen to occupy a position of authority or influence or wealth, we encourage our children to flout rules, and then flaunt our authority when they’re caught in the act. We use bullying tactics by approaching friends and relatives in high places to secure admission in institutions, or even jobs for our kith and kin.

    At a very basic level, what happened to Jessica Lal was the ultimate tragic consequence of an act of bullying. We behave in foreign countries only because our bullying tactics do not work there.

    The role of parents, therefore, has to be seriously evaluated. What kind of role-models are they at home? What is their reaction when their children do something horribly wrong? My own experience tells me that many parents when confronted with something wicked their child has done, just go into denial, or worse, into outright aggression.

    The biggest challenge for schools is to provide an atmosphere that is free of fear. They must create an ethos and an environment where the persecuted can speak out. A clear message must go out that certain forms of behaviour are just not acceptable. There will be times when harsh decisions will have to be taken. In our country there will inevitably be pressures political, bureaucratic and others but an institution has to stand firm.

    The other pillar of the crusade is vigilance. No institution can afford to let its guard down in the mistaken belief that it has permanently rooted out the evil, because this pernicious practice has a way of creeping back. Staff must be trained to look out for the first tell-tale signs dropping grades of a hitherto good student, an apathetic attitude, sullenness that indicate a brewing problem.

    Bullying can often be the product of boredom the pursuit of an unchallenged mind. Institutions that provide their students with meaningful activities, intellectual and physical, are more likely to avoid this curse, than those that do not. Schools have today become so obsessed with marks and tuitions, of sending as large a contingent as possible to IITs, that the good old business of school teaching in its most complete sense, of imparting values in the classroom, has totally fallen by the wayside.

    Bullying is not going to be eradicated by a Supreme Court edict or a Presidential decree. It will require the active cooperation and engagement of all segments of civil society, if this evil is to be wiped out.

    I donot know what will fix the issue and who will bell the cat but my message to parents is that…

    Trust your child and what he tells you. Never tell them to “manage” or “survive” as these will lead to incorrect development in his personality. Take it up. We must.
    Have faith in the school and what it tells. However, the first response of any school is to become defensive and underplay things.

    You child is your child and what he is experiencing should always have priority. He may manage or survive but then rest-assured he will not attempt to change the tradition of the school at all. He will become a part of the tradition too and hence will also bully when his turn arrives. Is that what you want? Maybe you do. If yes, enjoy the bullying!!!

    A bully is a bully and some say that a bully is actually a coward hiding behind a facade. They often hide when they are taken on. Remember, with ragging a criminal offense, even bullying can be complained under the same act and hence even there is a threat of police action…. Maybe it is time that someone is indeed reported this way and that will set things right for all else.

    My appeal to teachers and educators and management of schools is that they ensure that they are not preparing top-rankers who can get into the best of colleges but also good human beings who are compassionate individuals. This helps in turn reversing the societal trends and makes the world a better place generally.
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    Comments (3)

    iamwithyoublog
    June 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm | #1
    Quote

    What you describe is true! Needs attention by the Governing Boards of Residential Schools.
    Dr. Raja Datta
    June 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm | #2
    Quote

    It is very true. In my son’s school, there are these girls who are badly bullying the boys. They are in std VI and are presently physically and psychologically more advanced than the boys. The school authorities feel that girls can’t do anything of the sort. They are traumatising the boys mentally. There was an instance when this girl dragged my son physically and forced him to do something against his wishes. The school authorities should take serious action against these students or else things can take turn for the worse.
    rajarshi ray
    July 2, 2012 at 1:27 am | #3
    Quote

    even i was teased by my female classmate at a tender age of ten and fell in love with her immediately. :D

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  15. Virendra

    Virendra Moderator Moderator

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    So was I. Actually I carry that tag even today. But bullying as such was never a big issue, as I always sorted it out the desi way before it broke me ;)
    I believe those few outbursts/controversies helped others in understanding that I was not "for granted" material.
    Once you send the "Don't mess with him" message across, things get a lot easier IMO :notsure:
    ahem ahem .. :tape:
     
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  16. thakur_ritesh

    thakur_ritesh Administrator Administrator

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    Bullying isn't quite prevalent in schools, the problem is of ragging. It is quite a thing in professional colleges, pretty much across the board, and can be quite violent, to the extent a decent number of kids get driven to suicides. Though, even ragging isn't all that big a problem, but a much bigger problem is to perform par excellence in academics, the social and family pressures to outperform and not meeting those expectations drives kids to suicides. This is far bigger a menace.
     
  17. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    That Todd girl's s story is most heart wrenching and so sad.

    I hope her tormentors were hunted down and arrested and booked.

    Were tthey?
     
  18. blank_quest

    blank_quest Senior Member Senior Member

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    yaa, I even got a classmate Caned and Suspended because he threatened to cut my legs with blade. ( that day itself my pant was blade-cut -eventually my leg got a big cut marks still today - by him just because during recess period while playing he fell -mistakenly by a push from me due to inertia of running- into into bushes which got his pants tore a bit.Horrible memories.I still find it uneasy if ever I see those guys on streets as and when in Home town. Those mates were nightmare.They had no morals and I felt stuck. Thanks to God that I failed. I hope I was helped by God.
     
  19. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    Singh's blog as reproduced here, now I understand the situation in the NDA.

    In my time in the NDA, there was ragging and real serious physical and mental punishment, but no one touched your body.

    When I was a Bn Cdr there, I heard of punishments of the type Ravi Lochan Singh writes about and went whole hog to get them including night visits.

    I got one chap withdraw for this type of behaviour.

    What a sick society we live in!

    In school it was a girls school but boys were allowed till KG, I got bullied by two chaps and it was a Parsi girl (who later became Miss India) who took the two boys to the Principal and reported the bullying. The boys were lessoned by our real English Principal.

    Her courage changed me from a whimpering oaf to a person who did not take things lying down.

    I am ever so grateful to the girl.

    She made me a Man!
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2012
  20. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    I would not call them mates.

    I met one of two boys who used to bully me in school in the NDA.

    He was a senior cadet - one term senior and in a different squadron.

    He recognised me and gave me a smirk and told me he would sort me out.

    I went to him in a punishment rig as had been ordered by him. He closed the door and made me do some real strenous physical punishment.

    I stopped in between after half ah hour, turned around and gave him an almighty sock that left him bleeding and one tooth out, said - for old times sake and walked out!

    I thought he will get after me, but he never had the guts to do that.

    In our school one of the maxims that we had to learn and which I have never forgotten is - A bully is a coward with an empty head!
     
  21. Ray

    Ray The Chairman Defence Professionals Moderator

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    So that could be the reason why Seung-Hui Cho went on a shooting spree at Virginia Tech killing 32 and wounding 17.

    He was up for counselling and even Church help.

    But obviously the taunts must have been too much for him.

    As adults we are totally in ourselves and we have stopped listening to people or genuinely help them and so they feel out of place.

    Too much of nonsense of putting everything into scientific perspective and rationale leaving the good old societal bonding of the yesteryears.

    Same reason why fragging and suicides happen in the Forces. No one it appears care that much about others as they did before. The pace of life has become rocket speed and everyone is for himself in this ever increasing materialistic world!
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2012

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